Inspired by Amber, I’m posting the Twitter tweets that I favorited during the month of January. Because Twitter provides me with constant information and entertainment, and I love it.
If you’re easily offended…well, you probably wouldn’t be reading my blog anyway. So please, go on.
warrenellis 2009. Let us do great and monstrous things together.
warrenellis Things to do in 2009: become a 4G-dematerialised sovereign nation (ref. @moleitau). With a sea fort just for the hell of it. (Caffeinia?)
funrama Barack Obama won the election for President Of The United States so isn’t it safe to return to NOT kissing up to Rick Warren?
nikkicook eyeliner and bangles, whiskey and a tattoo shop full of sassy boys. tonight’s going to be fun.
fakerahmemanuel Not that it qualifies him to lead the CIA, but you should know that Leon Panetta had the largest balls (in diameter) of all Clinton staffers
fakerahmemanuel Apparently Roland Burris convinced Reid that his taint was nothing to be afraid of. Embrace the taint Harry-sit back and take it all in.
womanistmusings 7 year old doused himself in old spice & now smells like a lounge lizard. Told his father to flush that stuff down the toilet.
beckycloonan know that I have cavorted beneath the horned moon with repellent fiends and liberated virgins from the burden of their maidenhood.
funrama The American people don’t need a stupid little rebate check to buy crap for a month, they need a livable wage to buy crap for a lifetime.
fakerahmemanuel I’m going to miss Voinovich. For my 45th b-day, he gave me a picture of David Addington wearing a thong and a shirt that said “I Love Dick”
funrama The NYTimes Sunday Styles section needs a good cockpunching.
warrenellis Thinking a lot about print-on-demand and the role of paper in the future of media. When I should be writing (a print object).
fakerahmemanuel @kenGe My job description includes “Occasionally being a total dickhead”. One side effect is that being a dickhead is often hilarious.
warrenellis Going to bed. If I die in my sleep, I want you to know that I loved you all. In my head. Frequently. Alone. Locked in the bathroom.
beckycloonan WOOO!!! So glad that “Yee-Haw” is no longer our foreign policy.
matttbastard BU historian Thomas Whalen on CNN, describing the transition: “Is like going from Lawrence Welk to Miles Davis.”
mollycrabapple Thoughts on Bush’s exit? Wealth means never having to say “I’m Sorry”
fakerahmemanuel Working on vital tasks for the nation on this piece of shit computer in my new office. Do we make the people at NASA use a fucking abacus?
ivanbrandon i don’t think i’ve ever been called a cracker before.
BizarrObama Michelle said I could have a sleepover tonight! The only bummer…Rahm’s bringing Alito. Alito: the Tito Jackson of the Supreme Court.
amberlrhea My pole is for sale on Craigslist. http://is.gd/h6Qg
womanistmusings Dear Americans, 1 years supply of tim Hortons, maple syrup, Don Cherry, Stephen Harper and PEI for Michelle Obama wana trade?
jasonaaron GRAN TORINO is so god damn awful it makes BOYZ N THE HOOD look like the CITIZEN KANE of shlocky gang banger flicks.
BizarrObama At Bed Bath and Beyonce with Rahm. I need some new bath mats for the Mamie Eisenhower bathroom. What on earth did the Bushes do in there?!
BizarrObama Built a fort out of the White House Chester A. Arthur Memorial Linens with Rahm. Prolly gonna tell ghost stories. Night Tweets!
BizarrObama In an intelligence briefing and Biden’s trying to convince everyone that Hannibal from the A-Team was really based on him. Shut up fool!
radmartigan politicians are so oooooooold! Their flesh is hanging off their faces and i bet most of them cant spell internet.
TheGeek616 “in the year 2000…pandas will finally come clean and admit they’re really just goth polar bears.” ha!
[Private] you know–I was in space the other day and saw the oddest thing. It looked like two huge mountains of steel in the middle of illinois.
[Private] after much adjusting of my telescope, I realized it was just blago’s balls. His massive huge balls of steel.
[Private] blago never ever leaves illinois. his steel balls are much too big to move and need regular polishing.
[Private] I’m as horny as a high school marching band.
fakerahmemanuel P.S. Timmy & Tom may need help removing the copies of TurboTax that I shoved up their asses.
problemchylde this is one of those days where a spirit of constant vigilance leaks into everything. mad-eye moody ain’t got shit on me right now, yaheard?